I feel great
I just peed on a car
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
