When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Randomize
