i was born a porn star she said
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize