I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Randomize
