I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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