shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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