He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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