"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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