You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
