she was so not down for the gang bang
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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