And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
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