The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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