I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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