I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Randomize