bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Randomize
