Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
only you would photoshop your dick
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
