A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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