She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
