I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize