You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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