Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
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