it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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