The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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