Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
