I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
