either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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