He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
