Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
