I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
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Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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