come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
