That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
