k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
handjob tips. give me some.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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