For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
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