got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
50% drunk capacity currently
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
