I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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