People in love make me want to vomit
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
