Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
