My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
