You surviving the open bar?
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I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
