It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
