he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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