i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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