I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Randomize
