as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
