do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
