All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Randomize
