So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Randomize
