I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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