on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
His hands were made for my vagina.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's paint friendship bongs
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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