Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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