Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Randomize
