it's too hot outside to masturbate.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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