All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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