If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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