I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Just pee around me
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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