remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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