He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
