Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
