So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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