im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
