the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
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