Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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