Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
