There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
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