i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
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